Week Three Story: The Side Character
Author's Note: I drew inspiration for this piece from the "Shurpanakha and Rama" and "Lakshmana and Shurpanakha" chapters of the Public Domain Ramayana wherein Shurpanakha, a rakshasha, attempts to gain love from two of the main characters and fails due to her ugliness and her role as the villain. Rama and Lakshmana's callous reactions to her displays of affection were heartbreaking to me despite her role as the villain. Thus, I wanted to invert her role in this story, to display the sad life of a side character and grant her the sympathy that is denied to her in the actual story because of the role she is meant to play. Shurpanakha, or Sunny in this story, is meant to have your sympathy. She is the one who should be rooted for in this version, although her ending is just as sad as Shurpanakha's. Here is the link to the updated version of this story: Portfolio.
The Side Character
Sunny has been alone for centuries. She wanders the Forest aimlessly and, really, she doesn't mind the solitude, mostly. In fact, it's all she's ever known. Sunny was born from the waterfall that roars in the middle of The Forest where she resides. One day, she wasn't and the next, she was. Just like that.
She sometimes looks into the crystal clear waters of her birthplace and ponders at the face therein. It isn't an ugly face, she doesn't think. Peculiar, maybe. Sunny is unaware, but the peculiarity of her face lies in her eyes, pupil-less and blood red as they are. It is a stark contrast to the powdery white of her face and the metallic sheen of her hair. None of these things contribute to any sort of beauty, however. Instead, they work together to make Sunny look reptilian in nature.
Her eyes glow like smoldering embers as she creeps across the Forest floor. Her ivory feet and hands sweep across the leaves and twigs, sounding like wind rustling through the trees. She slides on her fingertips and heels noiselessly, performing a modern ballet routine when a noise disturbs the silence. She freezes.
"Where are we now, Ramsey?," a voice breaks the silence that Sunny has known all her life. It is a high pitched and grating voice that fills her with an anxiousness she has never felt before. She recoils swiftly behind a tree, blending in smoothly to the place that she has always known. She grips the tree tightly with her long nails and listens.
"I'm not entirely sure, Cece but we can trust this path, I think," the one Sunny assumes is Ramsey replies. "I think this is the way too," another voice responds as they move closer to where Sunny hides. "My feet hurt! Lux, Ramsey, please slow down." Sunny hears the group's footsteps slow. Her heartbeat is racing as she begins to creep away and, for the first time in her life, she makes noise: a twig snaps under the ball of her foot.
"Who's there?," Cece calls in her squeaky voice that cuts through the peaceful Forest. "Ramsey, I heard something!," she squeals and Sunny can hear her frantically clutching for him. "Cece, be calm, please," he whispers.
"Who is there?" His voice booms out.
Sunny considers sprinting away, but the silence that has surrounded her ever since birth suddenly feels suffocating. "My name is Sunny. The waterfall is my mother and the Forest is my family," she steps out from behind the tree and straightens her shoulders to the intruders. Her eyes alight on the three who have disrupted her home and she exhales, her lungs deflating. The man, the one called Ramsey, is like nothing she has ever seen before. Expressions of his appearance would not do him justice, but he reminds her of her namesake, The Sun. His companions, the man and woman called Cece and Lux are similarly blessed. They are no comparison to Ramsey though.
She is not accustomed to this sort of feeling. Out from her pale, bloodless lips bursts the words, "Be my companion in this Forest forever." She leaps forward to grasp his hand without thought. Ramsey's face reveals no emotion, except for his golden eyes which laugh at her. He slides his fingers from her grasp and motions to Lux. "I am taken, fair lady of the Forest, but my friend is sure to accept you, being single as he is," Ramsey motions behind Cece to Lux, who at first appears dumbfounded. His muddy eyes then alight at the recognition of Ramsey's game.
Sunny glances in confusion between the two, gliding with hesitation towards Lux. "Fair lady, I am also taken. Taken by laughter at the pallid color of your skin in contrast to the hellish fire of your eyes," Lux grips her chill hand in his and squeezes it to numbness. Sunny slips her hand away, looking between the two with her snakelike eyes. "From where do you come, you blinding eye sore? Have the depths of hell created you to tempt royalty such as we three?," Ramsey inquires, rocking from his heels to his tiptoes over her. Sunny cowers into herself, twisting and shrinking slowly away from the intruders who she never should have approached.
Cece cackles, "Don't let her shrink away. Let's keep the pale thing for a pet." Sunny, accustomed to the Forest floor, however, is faster and dissolves away into mist before they can react.
She returns to her waterfall, to her crystal pool and leans her face over its shimmering surface. It reveals no demon, no slithering reptile to her pupil-less eye. Instead, the reflection of her face is dispersed and replaced by the amusement of the three barbarians who mocked her in her own Forest. She dashes at the water with a papery fist and curls up on the bank, slithering into a coil like a snake. "What have I done to deserve this loneliness?," she whispers to her porcelain knees.
The water, for the first time in her life, responds, "Nothing, my child. You are simply a small part of someone else's story. Come and rest with me now that you have served your purpose." Sunny, without hesitation, slips into the cool water of her birthplace and disappears with a swish of her newfound tail.
Hi Riley! I really liked your story, and how you expanded on a few of the side characters. Very often, after reading a story, I think about how it would have been told if it had been from another character's perspective, rather than the main one. I think you did a really great job of writing this, and there were lots of moments where I was left thinking, "wow, I hadn't ever thought about that!" Shurpanakha is a very interesting character, and I'm glad you decided to delve deeper into her, as she definitely didn't deserve what she got in the story! This is a super minor detail, but on the dialogue where there is an ! or ? you don't need to put a comma. For example, you can just say: "Where are we now?" she asked. I hope this was helpful! I'm looking forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDeleteHello Riley,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your rendition of the stories involving Shurpanakha, Rama, and Lakshmana. I viewed the antagonist the same way as you did when i initially read the story. Really, I felt bad for her even though she is the villain in the story. I thought that your writing and use of imagery painted a clear picture of the character. The descriptions made the story more interesting and it was easier to imagine the scenes in your mind. The use of the 'ugly' and broken character reminds me of the story of Medusa; about how she was in love with a greek god, but was also cast aside. Her form and 'hideous' appearance were a result of her love. I liked the way you wrote your story and decided to present it with it's static elements, such as setting, but, what if you added an element of betrayal to the plot. It is clear that Sunny is lonely primarily due to her appearance, but I wonder if you could add another factor that would emphasize the sadness the character has. I think that it could help invoke more sympathy from the reader for Sunny.
Hi Riley,
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most interesting stories I have read so far. Your take on this was so unique and well done. I liked how you portrayed Sunny in her own mind. I think you perfectly captured how she felt in the original story as well. As she was confused as to how she could be rejected since she views herself differently than other people. One thing I would like to see is how Ramsey, Cece, and Lux react to her departure. Do they feel remorse for acting in that manner or are they completely indifferent? Personally I felt so bad for Sunny as no one should get treated like that.
This was really fun to read thanks for all the work that you put in!
Rohit
Hi Riley,
ReplyDeleteWow, I really love how you took a character that most of us probably forgot about and pushed to the side, and made a story that gave her person and meaning. Sunny provided context to characters that are usually the forgotten piece in a story, and it shows how just like real life there are two sides to every single story. One thing I might of changed about the ending is now that she served her purpose maybe she could achieve something greater for her life than just resting. One thing I really loved about this story though was your description of Sunny. The contrast of her red eyes to her pale skin just added the perfect detail in your head to be able to put your story in illustration. Without showing how ugly she was the story would not be able to capture it's full meaning.
Thank you,
Philip Crowley